LOST Spoilers - DarkUFO

We welcome to our nutty little public access show Lost executive producer Carlton Cuse. Fresh off his big-time appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live this past week, he graciously stopped by our cardboard-and-milk crates set to drop off this quick-and-coy preview of tonight's spooky-looking Locke-focused outing, titled ''Cabin Fever'':

''Nothing like a good jungle trek to give Locke and Ben a chance to discuss the notion of fate — and even Jacob weighs in on the topic.''

So it looks like Ben, Locke, and the cowardly lion — er, I mean Hurley — will finally get that Whaddawedonow? meeting with Jacob, the great and terrible Oz of the Island. Maybe the temporally challenged hillbilly will explain why his haunted shack keeps wandering away like a lollipop-dazzled child at a theme park. Maybe the petulant poltergeist will explain why the ghost of Christian Shephard was rocking in his chair in the season premiere. Hell, maybe Jacob will explain just who the Boone Hill he is — or THINKS he is. While we wonder and wait, here's some helpful info and useful context for tonight's episode — plus some to iron-clad, gotta-be-right theories!*

*Expiration date on my conviction: exactly 10:01:01 p.m. tonight.

DOC JENSEN'S GUIDELINES FOR GHOSTLINESS
Claire is dead? Charlie hangs with Hurley? Christian can cradle Aaron? WTH?! A metaphysical manifesto for defining — and debunking — undeadness on an Island lousy with apparent apparitions:

1. The Island is a place where mind can manipulate matter.
2. It is possible for a disembodied mind with a strong will to live to create a body for itself.
3. More often, however, Island ''ghosts'' are merely external byproducts of acute castaway/survivor psychology.
4. Regardless, these constructs are fundamentally incomplete because they lack souls.

EXAMPLES:
1. Pseudo Christian exists because Jack's survival demands it; his sense of self as savior/fixer/hero is shaped by his relationship to his father, and more to the point, it is continuously reinforced by his ongoing internal struggle with his daddy issues.
2. Claire died in the attack on her cabin, but Pseudo Claire exists either because her disembodied mind had a strong will to live — or because Baby Aaron needs her for his own survival. Nursing, you know.
3. Locke died in the plane crash, but his mind created a new body, though his soul is trapped in Jacob's cabin, because LOCKE IS JACOB. Maybe.

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